My best friend has cancer

My best friend was diagnosed with Cervical cancer last year, she went through radiation treatments and they killed it. A few months ago we found out it came back and spread to one of her ovaries. So she has been going through radiation therapy and had one of her ovaries removed. This week she goes in for a kidney and liver biopsy to see if it has spread further. So far the radiation is not helping and the cancer cells have been multiplying. I am so scared for her and of losing her, she lives in another state than I do and it kills me that I can not be there for her in this hard time. Life has thrown her so many hard situations and she is such a strong woman. Always smiling and laughing through things people would not be able to make it out of with happiness in their hearts. It hurts my heart so much that hard things are not over for her and she is so young, I wish sometimes I could take it into my body so she wouldn't have to endure more. For now I have to wait for her phone calls and text to keep me updated and keep in touch, I don't know what I would do without her in my life and it scares me so much that one day she may not be there. It's so hard for me to express the emotions I have inside, I feel like crying so much but I never do. When I talk with her I am always happy and never show her my sadness, she does not need my emotions on top of her own. I love her so much and it frustrates me horribly that there is nothing I can do for her.

It's important for us women to go get our annual check ups and check ourselves for lumps, don't risk your life because you don't like going to the doctors or you don't have health insurance. There are free clinics for these type of things. You could be saving your life.

Miscellaneous musings

Alot has happened since I've last posted. Not sure I can remember it all to put in here tho. I moved in with my Mother for a few months a while back. She is having alot of health issues, so the kids and I went out to help her then move her back with us. It was an interesting few months, filled with alot of happiness and also sadness and drama. But I try to focus on the negative and smile more at the positives in life. Things are going very well for myself and my family right now and I am very thankful for that.

My kids are on summer break until late August, they are a little stir crazy actually. It's been too hot to do much of anything outside lately. My youngest will be starting Kinder soon and then all my kids will be in school. I will have the whole day to myself, first time for that since 1998. Not sure what Im going to do with myself yet. My options are... get a job, go to school, get a hobby, lay around. I would like to take some classes but my problem is I don't know what I want to do career wise. I've always thought that I would stay home and be a mom, thats been my job for 13 years now. Frankly Im a little intimidated to go back to school.

Cancer Free!

I have been having alot of health issues lately, feminine issues to be exact. After a sixth months of dealing with this and different medications with no results I had a biopsy and some other unpleasant tests to check for cancer and a few other possible ailments.
Did you know that there is now a blood test to check for genetic breast and ovarian cancer? I sure didn't. I didn't even know that cancer could be genetic. It is tho. You are more likely a candidate for genetic cancer if close family members have had it. In my case, cancer runs deep on my father's side and a few cases on my mother's as well.
So after all my tests I am happy to say that I am cancer free and I do not carry the cancer gene! So that leaves my problem undiagnosed but atleast not too horrible.

On another note, I have been having some horrible back pain for a long time. Finally went to the Dr. for that and after some Physical therapy and an MRI it turns out that I have Degenerative joint disease. Boo! Not sure how bad it is, I go next week to get all the details and treatment plan from my Doc. Apparently it can be genetic, which makes sense. My 12 yr old daughter has Scheuermans disease which is degenerative disc disease in the spine. My mother has a similar problem in her neck. Not sure what's going to happen.


And I have a Lily with a tummy ache so I must go...

8 years

This Tuesday will mark 8 years of marriage for Jeff and I, it feels like longer only because we have been together for much longer than 8 years.
I think we have done a pretty good job so far. Struggled through some extremely hard times together. No matter what we have been through, we have always gone through it together and coming out on the other side of problems and issues together is a great accomplishment. I look forward to more years of anniversaries and birthdays, struggles and challenges together.

We may not have much but we have eachother.

Hello again

It's been awhile since I have been on here. Dial up sucks! We've had ups and downs since Ive last blogged.
Our holiday was good and sad at the same time, my Dad came out from California to visit for Christmas. It was nice visiting with him, he is doing so much better since he is sober now. He just celebrated 2 years sober on January 22nd! It was sad because I missed the rest of my family so much, maybe this year we can go visit for Christmas.
My daughter isn't happy here in this house. She does not like her school, wants to go back to the school she went to before this one. he kids at her school now are rough and not nice, she feels like she doesn't fit in.
The house that we live in is nice, not big enough for all of us but nice. Living in the country is beautiful and peaceful, I love looking out my windows and seeing nature. But it has it's down sides. It's so dark here, which is wonderful when you want to look at the stars in the sky, but not so great when the kids have to wait for the bus in the pitch black dark. I am not comfortable with that at all, they are too far away from the house so I couldn't hear them if they yelled for me and I can't see them except a little light from the flashlight they carry to see along the road. We live pretty far from any stores, and Jeff's work. We are spending so much money on gas it's insane. So we are looking at houses in town, which I found were cheaper then here and closer to Jeff's work. So we would save money on rent and gas! Just not sure when it will happen, the kids will definitely finish this school year here.

101

A friend has urged me to make a 101 list. Which is basically 101 things I want to do in my life before I die. No idea if I can come up with all 101 things in one try so I may edit every once in a while.

So here it goes, in no particular order...

1. Make a snow angel
2. Swim in Costa Rica waters
3. Visit Alaska
4. Spend a month in Scotland
5. See the Eiffel tower in person
6. Spend the weekend on an island in Greece.
7. Learn how to ice skate.
8. Go to a professional football game
9. Achieve my GED
10. Not care what anybody thought about me for a whole week.DONE
11. Be forgiven.DONE
12. Make a birthday cake from scratch. DONE
13. Swim with dolphins
14. Own a house
15. Be debt free
16. Take my kids to Disneyworld
17. Learn to play the piano
18. Learn to play the guitar
19. Speak publicly....DONE
20. Take a two week vacation alone with my Husband.
21. Get over my fear.
22. Sing karaoke
23. Learn how to make a cobbler
24. Take a road trip with my best friend. DONE
25. Paint a picture worth hanging on a wall. DONE
26. Scuba dive
27. Have an amazing art collection
28. Spend a week in a cabin in the mountains with no electronics to distract me
29. Go to Hollywood and walk the stars.
30. Counsel someone
31. Visit Stonehenge on the equinox
32. Lose weight and maintain it.
33. Make a French dish
34. Take dancing lessons
35. Donate money to a good cause
36. Go on a cruise
37. Get laser hair removal
38. Have a family reunion kickball game
39. Go ocean fishing
40. Take a vacation alone
41. Have a romantic dinner
42. Own a bookstore
43. Build a library in my house with built in bookshelves
44. Run a marathon
45. Make a garden
46. Keep the garden alive
47. Change a life
48. Learn to walk in heels
49. Own undeveloped property
50. Go horse back riding on the beach
51. Visit Louisiana
52. Buy a brand new car
53. Dance in the rain


I'm sure more will come to me soon.

New beginings

We are moving into our very first house the 1st of November. Jeff and I are very excited and happy about it, the kids are too. Christine not so much but she is coming around, she doesn't like the idea of changing schools again and making new friends...again. I feel bad about that, this will be our 3rd move this year so she is sick of it, This should be our last move for a long time. Because we are moving so close to the holidays we are not going out to California for Christmas like we planned, it's just too expensive. So our plan is to come out around tax time, that's right around Christine's birthday so she will be pleased.
So now I have the awesome job of packing everything up again, going through toys and clothes to make sure everything fits and nothing is broken. Then unpacking and setting up our home, decorating for the holidays and settling in.