My best friend has cancer

My best friend was diagnosed with Cervical cancer last year, she went through radiation treatments and they killed it. A few months ago we found out it came back and spread to one of her ovaries. So she has been going through radiation therapy and had one of her ovaries removed. This week she goes in for a kidney and liver biopsy to see if it has spread further. So far the radiation is not helping and the cancer cells have been multiplying. I am so scared for her and of losing her, she lives in another state than I do and it kills me that I can not be there for her in this hard time. Life has thrown her so many hard situations and she is such a strong woman. Always smiling and laughing through things people would not be able to make it out of with happiness in their hearts. It hurts my heart so much that hard things are not over for her and she is so young, I wish sometimes I could take it into my body so she wouldn't have to endure more. For now I have to wait for her phone calls and text to keep me updated and keep in touch, I don't know what I would do without her in my life and it scares me so much that one day she may not be there. It's so hard for me to express the emotions I have inside, I feel like crying so much but I never do. When I talk with her I am always happy and never show her my sadness, she does not need my emotions on top of her own. I love her so much and it frustrates me horribly that there is nothing I can do for her.

It's important for us women to go get our annual check ups and check ourselves for lumps, don't risk your life because you don't like going to the doctors or you don't have health insurance. There are free clinics for these type of things. You could be saving your life.

Miscellaneous musings

Alot has happened since I've last posted. Not sure I can remember it all to put in here tho. I moved in with my Mother for a few months a while back. She is having alot of health issues, so the kids and I went out to help her then move her back with us. It was an interesting few months, filled with alot of happiness and also sadness and drama. But I try to focus on the negative and smile more at the positives in life. Things are going very well for myself and my family right now and I am very thankful for that.

My kids are on summer break until late August, they are a little stir crazy actually. It's been too hot to do much of anything outside lately. My youngest will be starting Kinder soon and then all my kids will be in school. I will have the whole day to myself, first time for that since 1998. Not sure what Im going to do with myself yet. My options are... get a job, go to school, get a hobby, lay around. I would like to take some classes but my problem is I don't know what I want to do career wise. I've always thought that I would stay home and be a mom, thats been my job for 13 years now. Frankly Im a little intimidated to go back to school.